As I was watching “Monday Night Bore” I realized that I was beginning to suffer from a pounding headache. The show was actually so bad that I gave myself a throbbing dome- piece from wracking my brain so hard over how awful it was! Never in my life have I witnessed a more frail, feeble and pathetic attempt at a go-home show, nor can I remember seeing a crowd this quiet or detached throughout an entire show!
When the show started, Rusev was actually cutting a furiously intense promo and showing some great command with the microphone in his grasp, which was awesome for the guy. Then the true colors of WWE creative inevitably bled through and destroyed the entire segment—Foley announces a non-title match in which Rusev will be able to “defend Lana’s honor” against Roman Reigns… Um, huh? What an astonishingly confusing notion: Let’s give away a free SummerSlam match tonight for no apparent reason other than filling the main event slot as if it were the toilet bowl at the local Taco Bell! I’m seriously beginning to think that there may be robots writing this s*** instead of actual human beings!
Those hideous true colors of WWE creative continued to saturate the whole show as Heath Slater interrupted Brock Lesnar and, his motor-mouth of an advocate, Paul Heyman. Initially, this was very entertaining as Slater was showing some awesome work with his promo prowess like he has been as of late. Listening to “The Beast” actually talk and be involved before tearing apart the “one man band” like a doggie chew toy was something that I haven’t been able to enjoy in an extremely long time. Brock should’ve kicked him out of the ring like a piece of trash and cut a ferocious promo on how he would do that one hundred times over to Randy Orton on Sunday, end of segment!
Instead we got Heyman spewing the same words and phrases that he’s uttered a million times before in different sequences. I have to be honest: it’s getting old! There is nothing creative in having the guy go out and talk for Lesnar every, single, time. Just like a broken record has to stop spinning, Heyman has got to cut the act!
Why are Rollins and Balor so angry with each other? They have no real beef. There isn’t any real heat. So how do we pick a side? How am I supposed to get behind either one of them when I have no idea why they are so upset? Someone at WWE needs to answer these questions of mine and they need to know that they can find The Gonzo Shark up here, at Vince Russo’s The Brand!
So literally, the only two things from “RAW is BORE” that are memorable (if I dare use that term) were a few guys stepping it up with the microphone in segments that nose-dived before they crashed and burned! The entire show was like a hot fudge sundae with only a couple little spoonfuls of ice cream—they want it to satisfy you, but it doesn’t!
I just finished SmackDown and actually felt like a wrestling fan instead of being aggravated with the product. Tuesday is proving to be the night to watch wrestling and Monday is becoming the night to find a new show! That’s all for another article though.
Until then, The Gonzo Shark checks out.