My mind is completely blown and confusion is at an all-time high after watching last night’s SmackDown LIVE. I don’t even know how to describe what I watched—it was just bad segment after bad segment, even more bad comedy, as well as matches and story progressions that were as cold as ice. It feels like I’m at the receiving end of a really bad rib or something. This show just flat out sucked! It actually sucked so much that after enduring ninety minutes of torture, I wasn’t even capable of paying attention anymore and couldn’t wait for it to be over. After the pain had subsided and the episode was over I was so happy, but during the show I was so angry at what I was watching that I must’ve been feeling similar to the way my girlfriend feels when she is yelling at me for getting my beard dandruff and rouge facial hairs all over our keyboard—not good!
I’m not about to go on and on about how awful it was, but instead I’m going to pick out the modest amount of good that came from it. As bad as it was, there were a few things that I liked. I have to be honest and tell you that I’m really stretching and reaching for material to put over and it’s very difficult, but here it goes…
USOS HEEL TURN
The Usos finally got some rope to play with last night when they assaulted American Alpha and did a number on Chad Gable’s leg. Shortly after the show went off-air it was reported that American Alpha can no longer compete this Sunday at WWE Backlash due to the leg injury Gable suffered during the attack. I think The Usos make a better heel team anyways and they were in dire need of a massive shift in direction. It’s looking like we may get a program between these teams that actually has potential, and that was probably the best segment on the show. I also felt like The Usos cut a good heel promo afterwards and now American Alpha will obviously not win the tag team championship which seemed like the inevitable conclusion to this thing. Now, the tag team picture has taken a completely different shape and I’m happy about it. I got a baby swerve and I’ll take it!
SLATER/RHYNO GAIN MOMENTUM
Don’t ask me how it happened, but somehow Heath Slater is getting over. I don’t know why and can’t come up with an explanation for it, but every week I’m becoming a bigger mark for Slater. To me, this guy is a great example of taking the ball and running with it. For some reason his pairing with Rhyno is actually working and they now look like the favorites to take home the new tag belts this Sunday. I personally want them to win because their whole angle has been some of the best stuff on SmackDown LIVE since the brand split. Has it all been good? Of course not, but you have to admit that the trailer park segment last week with Renee Young was pure gold. That was literally the funniest thing I’ve seen on a WWE show in probably close to a year. It appears as if the Slater/Rhyno push is only getting stronger and if they can continue with the good comedy and the mobile home and seven kids gimmick, then I’ll only be excited to see what’s next! IF WWE drops the ball on this one—shame, shame, SHAME ON THEM!
AMBROSE & STYLES BECOMING MUCH STRONGER TALKERS
If there is one thing that’s certain when it comes to the WWE Championship match this Sunday, it’s that Dean Ambrose and AJ Styles are totally comfortable cutting a promo and making it believable. There is nothing else to write home about in this little feud but at least these guys are looking stronger than ever with a microphone. Their s*** talking is really the only thing keeping this conflict half-alive because there is no story here. I honestly couldn’t tell you what the heat is between them because I have no idea. I know that they both think they’re better than each other, but doesn’t every wrestler? If I’m supposed to be reveling in anticipation for the match because each guy has gotten their nuts crushed by the other, then somebody please relentlessly shake me until I wake from this awful dream! I’m a fan of both Dean and AJ, but I’m really struggling in trying to find something palpable and robust to emotionally connect to with this program. As much of a fan as I am for both of them, I’m not a fan of this match and I want to really be able to care about the outcome because I don’t! My mindset is this: Go Dean! Go AJ! Who cares!
It’s been just another week of watching great talent sink. This edition of SmackDown LIVE made last night’s edition of RAW look like an Emmy Award Winning blockbuster of groundbreaking entertainment! OK, maybe I’m going a little overboard but I still have a point. Sitting through RAW was like watching an operation that’s driving you mad and you can’t look away; SmackDown LIVE, on the other hand, was like visual diarrhea that I should’ve bought an eye-guard for! Where’s Baron Corbin been at these days? The guy is money and can’t catch a damn break! I don’t know about everyone else, but I’m really starting to see the conflict of having these thinned out rosters and it’s beginning to demand attention due to how obvious it is. What’s the solution?
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