This past Wednesday on VHI (9/8C), the series premiere of Family Therapy with Dr. Jenn, wasted no time in assuring it’s top spot on this years Vince Russo Guilty Pleasure Playlist!!! Wasting little to no time, the KOOKS immediately commandeered the asylum from Dr. Jenn, who didn’t stand a chance from the opening bell. I’m telling ya, freakin’ Cuckoo’s Nest was a tame, lame retirement home compared to this spectacular LOONEY BIN!
Man–this show has EVERYTHING, from the hot therapist, to a couple who wouldn’t even be able to agree on the color of a white strait-jacket, to a “Sister” who is further from a nun then Donald FREAKIN’ TRUMP!!! If the first episode was any indication of where this mess might be headed—I’m all in—white gloves and all! And, it all starts with the house therapist, who in all actuality could have been a runway model if she had at all intended. Dr. Jenn is that intelligent, smart woman who you don’t know if you want to bang her, or debate her! However, 10 minutes into the show you just want to get her THE HELL OUT OF THERE! For leading the WACKO BRIGADE are Lindsey’s parents Dina and Michael Lohan, whose telling stories are so opposite of each other that you wouldn’t get the truth unless they were both permanently strapped to lie detector machines!!! Who hit who, who gave who drugs, who had an affair–there was more finger pointing between the two than a deaf mute giving traffic directions!!! But, I’ve got to tell you–these two were Carol and Mike Brady compared to Tiffany “New York” Pollard and her crazed mother Michell “Sister” Patterson!
Now, you might remember Tiffany from the old VHI series, Flavor of Love, where a caravan of women tried to wn the heart of one Flava-Flav. From her “success” on that show, Tiffany parlayed her “talent” into a spin-off entitled I Love New York, where a cavalcade of admirers tried to win the biatch’s heart. And, make no bones about it–Tiffany was INDEED a biatch in that series, acting like there wasn’t a dude on the planet who was good enough to earn her love. But, as cocky and conceited as she was, who would have thunk that her deranged mother would have ruled her life much the same way NORMAN’S mother ruled his! “Sister” Patterson, as she refers to herself–is outright freakin’ NUTZ!!! She walks around claiming to feel the spirit of the other patients in the house. My opinion–I think the broad is hitting the rum candy once too often!!! All the drama and entertainment is right here with this Disastrous Duo!!!
On more of a much sadder note, former Jackass star, Bam Margera, is in the house with his loving mom April. Since the death of his best friend, Ryan Dunn, who died is a vicious car wresk while driving at a ridiculous speed, Bam has hit total rock bottom. He is a full-fledged alcoholic who comes across as if living, or dying, doesn’t matter to him at this point. It’s a sad story—a real sad story—that has you praying to the God above that Bam came find his way once Dr. Jenn does her magic!
A few more round out the cast, but honestly–I wasn’t too interested. But then again, the bar was raised so high by those that I mentioned, that you would have had to been half-man/half-pig in order to gain my attention! “THE PIG-MAN, JERRY!”