You know what’s really starting to piss me off? When you go to your local Home Depot with the expectations of fixing a small household problem by the simplest means necessary, then you run into the YAHOO wearing the ORANGE APRON, and all of a sudden the five-minute job is an entire afternoon’s work. Why? Because they want you to fix it the right way. SCREW THE RIGHT WAY!!! I want to rig it so it works NOW! If it breaks again—I’LL FIX IT AGAIN!

Here’s my case in point. A line in my sprinkler system severed in half—I’m sure I did it at some point with a shovel—so simple solution–right? Get a piece of a rubber hose, make sure it’s long enough, and use it inside the broken line—to bring the both sides of the line together. Then electrical tape the !@#$% out of it. Simple–right? WRONG? The pumpkin at Home Depot has me buying another piece of pipe, connectors, clamps—are you freakin’ kidding me? I JUST NEED A FREAKIN’ PIECE OF A GARDEN HOSE FOR CRYIN’ OUT LOUD!!!!

It’s all a gimmick. Everything is a work, and a gimmick. Everybody is working everybody else. I’m just sick of it, man.

How do the Giants get swept by the Padres? I’ll tell you how—THEY S-T-I-N-K!!!


  1. Ditch the sprinkler and water the grass yourself….

    I’m imaging Vince in the scene in a DeNiro movie of him standing outside in his robe water the grass, Casino or Goodfellas? Someone pulls up in a car( Pesci or Ray Liotta), De Niro throws down his cigarette and they go inside for a meeting.

  2. I would used the clamps, with tape or rubber underneath (between them and the hose) to make a tight connection.

    I’m assuming your house is relatively new, maybe 40-30 years old?
    Try working on one hundred year old houses, basically anything from 1920 and prior (which is what most housing in urban areas are).
    You can’t find anything that fits in Home Depot, they only stock standardized stuff for new homes, so you need four different sized pipe fittings from Copper to PVC just to install a sink.