I know that on “Woman Crush Wednesday”, I’m supposed to be putting over some hot chicks that I absolutely RUIN in my dreams. This week, not so much the case. Don’t get me wrong, EVERY woman has her own unique beauty, but I am entitled to my choice of flavor – and this sure as s*** ain’t it!


While digging through the vault, I came across some footage of former WWE Diva, Jackie Gayda Haas, winning First Place in the annual Bill Grant Classic. Who’s Bill Grant? Some f***ing bodybuilder, and I’m not getting into it. The bottomline is, I attended an MMA Expo some time ago, and this happened to be one of the featured events. In the words of Jules Winfield, “That’s Kool and The Gang”, I’m always down for hot broads in bikinis – keyword is, HOT. Again, I am not taking anything away from these ladies, but they’re a bit too chiseled for my taste. When smokin’ hotties take it all off for DieHard, I wanna feel like they stepped out of the sticky magazine pages in my bathroom. As a side note, I DO NOT have sticky magazine pages in my bathroom. It’s 2016, and I watch all my porn on the internet like the rest of you – and if something ever happens to me, I am deputizing Jeff Lane to clear my browser history, STAT and PRONTO!

No joke, this event looked like a bunch of skeletons dressed in skin. Petite is nice, but bony needs a steak sandwich. I’m looking to score with Megan Fox, not the f***in’ Crypt Keeper. And the ones who had some meat, were more ripped than Sylvester Stallone in Rocky IV. These girls were hard-bodied and jacked, and looked like they could rip my “Johnson” off with their butt cheeks. The boobage was flat, deflated and replaced with muscular pecs. I get it, some dudes may be into that, but I’m starting to think that those dudes are trying to Dr. Frankenstein their girls into replica dudes. This was straight up, instant…erection…killer.

So, why the f*** am I sharing this video? Because it was none other than a former WWE diva, who proved that you can still get ripped without losing your sex appeal. I’m not saying my Dark Knight was rising, but there was hope. So if this is your kind of thing; if you’re just curious; or…f*** it, just watch it!

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