Vince Russo's The Brand

It has well been documented–I’ve made it crystal clear myself–that GoodWill is my store of choice. No lie, I frequent my local GoodWill at least five days out of seven every week. To me, it’s all about the thrill of the hunt, finding that buried treasure that somebody donated not having a CLUE as to what its actual worth is. Over the years I have found absolute gems at GW, a fairly new hot tub cover for $10 (they run around $200-$250), a mini Las Vegas sign with actual flashing lights, a framed autographed photo of the GREAT Danny DeVito, a spankin’ new mini-replica of Yankee Stadium, a Joe Namath poster, various valued pieces of vinyl at a buck a piece, a vintage Mork & Mindy lunch box and autographed books courtesy of Steve Martin and Jack Klugman. It’s a freakin’ treasure hunt—every time I set foot in the place!

But here’s the thing about GoodWill . . . you’re looking for that MONEY ITEM. Team Jerseys that run at least half a C-note any place else, can usually be found at GW for well under 5 bucks. You grab that, and run it to the counter as if every other customer in the store is going to tackle you for it on the way there. It’s about that ONE item—ONE and DONE . . .for that visit. But, here’s the problem—some who frequent the GoodWill  just don’t quite understand that concept. You can usually tell when they grab that shopping cart inside the entrance and start pushing it around the joint. Look–you don’t “SHOP” at GW, that’s not its purpose, Mrs. Nimrod!!! We’re not talking Target here, or WalMart even!!! Bro–do I have to tell you that GoodWill is NOT the place for hats, shoes and UNDERWEAR!!! No, no, no, no, no!!! You buy that crap NEW—for your own freakin’ safety!!! I swear just about a week ago I saw a woman buy USED HANDKERCHIEFS at GoodWill—SNOT RAGS!!!

Look, what I’m saying is this—when you walk into a GoodWill, you are looking for the GEM—not THE GERM!!! Leave the cart–get in–get out—proper GOODWILL ETIQUETTE–FOLLOW IT!!!